Loss: Journey from hole to whole

My husband died on March 15, 2014, sometime in the afternoon. My life since then has been a bumpy ride. Some people have said that I made some interesting choices and that sharing those with others might be useful – to others and to me. This blog series is that sharing. I am starting it without having much of a clue of where it will go or for how long it will last. But here are pieces of my journey as best I can describe them.

The Second Christmas

The Second Christmas

I  have been really sad today, Christmas Eve Day.  This is the second Christmas without Bob.  I wonder if I was still numb last Christmas and that this is the first “feeling” Christmas?  I have done so many things to grieve, grow, and graduate from this process.  I...

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Learnings to date

As I have passed the year and half mark of Bob’s death, what have I learned?  It has been a rough road but it has had some fruits — some are sweet, some are bittersweet, some never ripened, and some are rotten!  Here are some of the learnings.I have discovered Qigong...

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Whose Circle Is It?

Whose Circle Is It?  As I have been working to create a new life since Bob died, this question and some of its corollaries have been on my mind.  After a partner dies it is so easy to feel not whole.  The other day I read a better image.  The gist of the article was...

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Labels

We can attach so much meaning to a word. I was reading something in which someone called “Widow” a label.  By extension, then, so is “Single.”  That got me to thinking about the difference between the words and whether there was a difference between “widow” and...

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Grief is Weird

This grief stuff is weird.  I’ve just passed the 17 month point since Bob died and usually life is easier.  I have lots of days that have lots of joy in them; and lots that have lots of tears.  And it is so inconsistent. I am enjoying writing and teaching Qigong...

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Rings, Again

Since Bob died rings have been a constant in my life. What to do with them, which to wear, what do they mean - lots of questions. Some friends, I suspect, think I am obsessed with the symbolism of the rings. For me they are not jewelry - they are symbols and I have...

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Completion of a Lesson?

I doubt if the big lessons in life are ever completed, but there is a point where they can stop - like an essay test when you know you could write more, but you decide that you have done enough to answer the question. I am wondering if that is where I am on this...

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Father’s Day #2

Father’s Day fifteen months after Bob died. This has been an odd day. My daughter is just (late afternoon) getting home from a conference that she and her family attended. My son is at his home with his family. I wished the Dads in both families a happy Father’s Day...

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I Don't Want to Do Anything!

Two exciting projects are in my life now. This website with the writing that it has inspired and teaching Qigong classes. I talk about both of them and get really excited and have plans for both of them that keep me thinking and planning and plotting. And … I don’t...

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