Loss: Journey from hole to whole
The Bridge: Year 1 to Year 2
About a week before Bob’s birthday (March 7) I knew that it was time to take my “vow” ring off. It now sits safely in my jewelry box with our wedding bands. Wearing it or our wedding bands since he died has felt like an anchor; something to keep me out of danger. ...
A Quiet Saturday Afternoon
This afternoon has been difficult and I don’t know why. This morning was a wonderful - my first session teaching Qigong to a group of friends, then some tea and cookies. We had pleasant conversation, an appropriate interlude with Zia, and then they left. I...
What Follows "'Til Death Do Us Part"?
I got home from my trip to my niece’s wedding in early September and the wedding vows were still playing in my head - a lot. It was clear to me that the wedding “contract” with Bob was completed. We both held up our end of the contract; we were faithful helpmates...
'Til Death do Us Part – What does that mean?
Til Death Do Us Part - What Does That Mean? What is a vow? What is a contract? Are they the same? This past week has been an emotional quagmire! A little over five months after my husband died my niece got married. We had the amazing opportunity to have all of our...
Living in the House that Bob Built
Living in the House that Bob Built While we were still reeling from the funeral and before we had the memorial at the cabin, the washing machine stopped working. Having a one year old in cloth diapers, this ranks high in the crisis scale. Here is the condensed version...
The Mystery Poem
Bob left us with one huge mystery. Two days after Bob died, I was looking for his wedding band. Having treated many patients with hand injuries, I asked Bob to stop wearing his wedding band many years ago. He often worked with power tools and power tools and rings...
The Joy of Pain (from a skeptic!)
Something I read recently talked about the ability to view everything in your life as if it is exactly what is supposed to be and is perfectly timed. After I said, “Yeah right!” I thought, well, that person is wiser than I am and that does seem to be a theme in many...
The start of the journey
In one scream and a wild set of gestures from my son-in-law my life changed. He found my husband lying on the front porch. I ran to them and it was clear to me that my husband was dead and had been for a while. I guess I went into executive mode. First I called...