“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. ” ― Coco Chanel

I don’t know much about Coco Chanel except that her perfume #5 is luscious and she created really classy clothes.  Evidently, she was also a wise woman.

How much of my life have I spent trying to make doors where there were none?  How bloody can my fists get trying to create that door!  And how much more serene I feel when I can look at the wall and, instead of wishing for a door, seeing the beauty of the wall and wondering what I could do to adorn it and make it even more beautiful.  Or, if I don’t want that wall right now, I could just turn and find a door.  How easy is that?  And no bloody fists!

How does that translate to everyday life?  (That seems to be all I care about these days.  I don’t have any desire to engage in conversations that don’t help me figure out how to better live my life – unless, of course, they are just fun and make me smile or laugh!  Back to the quote at hand.)  What are some walls that I beat on trying to make doors?  Just this morning I said to my daughter, “I can’t tell you how frustrating it is being short!”  That was immediately after four jar lids fell off of a high shelf  and hit me on the head on their way to the floor.  My frustration is real and long lived.  And no matter how much I complain and moan and groan about it, I am not going to get any taller.  All I succeed in doing is making myself more miserable — bloodying my fists!  And I am choosing to do it — and I consider myself intelligent, may need to rethink that assessment!

I do it in relationships all of the time.  Bob was a quiet man —really quiet.  I spent years trying to get him to be a talker.  Never worked.  That wall was several feet think and all my efforts created were a regular sense of dissatisfaction on my part and probably a sense of frustration (dare I say anger?) on Bob’s part.

Maybe a better strategy would have been to pause, look around, and probably find a door right behind me.  The potential for writing was always there for me, but it was never in my view.  I only saw the quiet wall.

I see that my challenge for now is to notice when I am beating a wall.  After I realize it, I can simply turn around and find my next door and my next adventure.  What if it is better than writing?  I can’t begin to imagine the wonders in store!